Self-harm is a serious issue that affects people of all ages, especially teens and young adults. It can show up in many different ways—some are physical, others emotional or even digital. While these behaviors can feel like a way to cope, they often signal deeper emotional pain.
This blog will explore the causes of self-harm, ways to cope and when to seek help. If you or someone you love is struggling, you’re not alone—and help is available.
What Does Self-Harm Look Like?
Self-harming behaviors include more than just cutting. Other examples are:
- Burning
- Pulling out hair
- Picking at wounds
- Misusing drugs or alcohol
There are also emotional or digital forms of self-harm. One example is self-cyberbullying, where someone posts hurtful messages about themselves online anonymously. In some cases, people share photos of physical injuries online.
These behaviors are often used as a way to manage overwhelming emotions or situations that feel out of control.
Why Do People Self-Harm?
Self-harming behavior often starts in the teenage or young adult years. Many people use it as a way to cope with:
- Low self-esteem
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Trauma or abuse
- Substance use
- Other mental health issues
For some, self-harm becomes a cycle. The act can trigger a temporary release of endorphins (natural pain-killing hormones), which may bring brief relief. But that relief is usually followed by guilt, shame or regret, which leads to more self-harming behavior.
If left untreated, self-harm can increase the risk of suicidal thoughts.
Identifying the Cause Is the First Step
Understanding why you self-harm is key to stopping it. Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal can help. In the book Freedom from Self-Harm, Doctors Alexander Chapman and Kim Gratz suggest tracking your urges without judgment and asking yourself:
- “Why do I feel this way?”
- “What am I trying to escape?”
- “What would help me feel safe right now?”
Being honest with yourself helps you understand what triggers your behavior—and how to change it.
Coping Strategies for Self-Harming Urges
There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but here are several positive strategies to help you cope with the urge to self-harm.
Express Your Emotions
Find a healthy outlet to release emotions like sadness, anger or stress:
- Cry, scream or yell
- Exercise (run, dance, walk, swim)
- Tear up paper or cardboard
- Soak in a warm bath
- Listen to calming music
- Talk to someone you trust
- Draw what you’re feeling or where you want to harm
Focus on Positive Activities
These can help boost your mood and distract your mind:
- Coloring or drawing
- Cleaning or organizing your space
- Hugging a pet, pillow or stuffed animal
- Doing a hobby you enjoy
Change Your Environment
Many people self-harm in specific places or during certain times of the day. Try changing your routine:
- Take a walk outside
- Visit a friend or go out for a meal
- Go to the gym
- Spend time in nature
- Listen to the sounds of the ocean or birds in a park
Try Sensory Alternatives
If you still feel the urge to self-harm, these physical alternatives can interrupt the impulse:
- Rub ice on your skin
- Use a felt-tip pen or paint to mark the area instead of harming it
- Take a cold shower
- Snap a rubber band gently on your wrist
- Decorate your skin with henna or temporary tattoos
When to Seek Help
It’s brave to ask for help—and it’s often the most important step toward recovery.
If self-harming behaviors are becoming a regular coping method, or you feel like you’re stuck in a cycle, it may be time to speak to a professional. Individual counseling, group therapy or depression treatment can offer lasting tools to support you.
Citizen Advocates provides in-person and tele-mental health services to support individuals struggling with self-harm, depression or other emotional challenges.
24/7 Help Is Available
If you’re in crisis, don’t wait. Call our 24-hour crisis hotlines:
Frequently Asked Questions About Self-Harm
What are the warning signs of self-harm?
Signs can include unexplained injuries, wearing long sleeves in warm weather, emotional withdrawal and signs of depression. Digital self-harm might involve anonymous online bullying or negative social media activity.
If you’re worried about someone you love, encourage them to talk with a professional. Learn more about talk therapy services.
Is self-harm the same as a suicide attempt?
Not always. Many people who self-harm are not trying to end their lives. Instead, they’re trying to cope with emotional pain. However, self-harming behaviors can increase the risk of suicide if left untreated.
If you’re unsure, it’s best to seek help through our behavioral health urgent care services.
Can therapy help with self-harm?
Yes. Therapy can help you explore the reasons behind your behavior and teach healthy ways to cope. Treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) are often effective.
Start with a depression screening or speak with a therapist to find the right support.
What if I don’t feel ready to talk?
That’s okay. You don’t have to have everything figured out. Our team is here to listen, not judge. When you’re ready, call one of our 24/7 hotlines to take that first step.
You Don’t Have to Go Through This Alone
Self-harm is a sign of emotional pain—not weakness. Healing takes time, support and self-compassion. Whether you’re just starting to notice the signs or have been struggling for a while, help is available and recovery is possible.
Click here to find our nearest clinic and reach out today. You deserve support, and we’re here to help.
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